HMS President and the names of American prizes

What might Britain have called USS United States if it had captured her during the War of 1812?

The suggested Thirteen Colonies is a joke. HMS President provides the actual comparison, with its retained name explained through the President of the Board of Trade.

The imagined capture of USS United States prompts a joke that Britain might have renamed her Thirteen Colonies. HMS President supplies an actual example of a captured American name retained in British service. Its British explanation invoked the President of the Board of Trade. The example ends with the name's survival at London's Royal Naval Reserve establishment and the joke of inviting American visitors there.